Three Anger Management Lessons for Parents to Share with their Children
All Premier Martial Arts studios across the country instruct students on our world-renowned Black Belt Excellence character development program. In each Karate and Tae Kwon Do class, students are taught a multitude of topics that change each month. One topic is the very important concept of anger management. In this article, Premier Martial Arts would like to share with parents everywhere three lessons to help your children with anger management.
The “Analytical-or-Angry” Discussion
This lesson will help students conceptualize the benefits of trying to “understand” rather than trying to “win”. Begin by making the statement that we have many situations in which there is a choice between two “A” words – arguing or analyzing. In other words, when someone does something to us or says something with which we disagree, we can either fight back and argue, or we can try to analyze why the person did or said it. Point out the second choice is better because we learn something whenever we try to figure out why, and we keep our cool and keep our friends.
This exercise will help adolescents begin to see the world not as a constant competition and “win-lose” but as a place where understanding can help everyone win. Tell this brief incident: Holly and Mary had been friends for years, but they were both strong-willed, so they had frequent disagreements. In their history class, one day the teacher asked students to pair up and then choose one of the topics listed on the board for a dual report given by the paired students that would count for half of their grade. Holly and Mary teamed up but couldn’t agree on a topic. Holly wanted one and Mary wanted another. They began to argue about it, and then Holly, remembering something her mother had told her, and decided to listen to Mary. It turned out that Mary had a very good reason for wanting a particular topic-and that she had some special information that would help make a good report on it. As Holly listened, she thought of some ideas she could add. The girls agreed on a topic, used teamwork and ended up getting an A on their report.
Ask what the difference is between “win-lose” and “win-win”. Define “win-win” (finding a way to agree-a way where no one is hurt and where everyone benefits). Think of other examples to discuss with your students.
Conflict Avoidance – The Cool Down!
We should think of every argument as a lit fuse of a bomb. If we let it keep going it is bound to blow up. By learning to diffuse the situation, like pulling the fuse out of the bomb, we can avoid an explosion. The best way to diffuse an argument is by using a cool down. A cool-down helps students to learn a practical method of controlling their tempers. Explain to the students how counting to ten as they take ten deep breaths before they yell or get angry allows them to calm our feelings and gives them time to think and understand why something is happening or why someone is being the way they are. Next, you should role-play with the students on how to perform a proper cool down. Have the students face each other and pretend to argue, the given side should diffuse the situation by stepping back bringing their hands up with their palms, as not to seem confrontational, say “Chill Out” as then turn as begin their counting and ten deep breaths.
Role-playing is a fun and important step in having the students understand how to execute a proper cool-down procedure. Repeat several times and have the students switch to use different partners so they do not become too comfortable.
Anger can be defeated with understanding
Children need calmness. It gives them a kind of security and peace of mind. For a child to be able to control their temper is a powerful and important value that is largely a product having a loving atmosphere at home. The first thing in getting a child to control their temper is them being willing to try to “understand” why things happen and why people act the way they do.
Go through the following examples – a situation where something makes them mad and they use their temper and impatience and talk about what would happen if they got mad and took the time to use self-control and understanding in the situation.
Your alarm clock doesn’t go off, so you’re going to be late for school.
You’re playing basketball and you get called for a foul you didn’t think you committed.
Your friend forgets to meet you for lunch.
Your parents say that you can not spend the night at a friend’s house because it is a school night.
You lose a sparring match in a tournament.
Karate and Tae Kwon Do training at Premier Martial Arts studios nationwide offer great support for parents in the development of happy healthy confident children. Whether parents are looking for help with focus, confidence, self-esteem, fitness, self-defense, or character development, parents will find Premier Martial Arts training a great aid in helping them achieve their parenting goals.
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